Best Men Thinking of Marriage ;-)

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
-- David Bissonette --

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-- Sacha Guitry --

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
-- Hemant Joshi --

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
-- Socrates --

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
-- Dumas --

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
-- Sigmund Freud --

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
-- Anonymous --

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage.
We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week.
A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
-- Henny Youngman --

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
-- Sam Kinison --

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
-- James Holt McGavran --

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
-- Patrick Murray --

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Nash --

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
-- Anonymous --

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
-- Henny Youngman --

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-- Rodney Dangerfield --

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-- Milton Berle --

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
-- Anonymous --

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted".

Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
-- Anonymous --

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."


:)